May 4, 2009

• Semen pudding, anyone?

  In this day and age, food is no longer considered as just something that keeps you alive, but as something that is part necessity, part tradition, part creative art, and part adventure.  We all are too familiar with the idea of “weird” food – food that is not considered to be edible/palatable by one’s standard due to lack of knowledge and experience as well as cultural differences.  Whether that be raw animal flesh or creepy crawly creatures or animal’s blood or intestinal parts or simply stinky fermented stuff, we all have our own opinions on what should not pass our lips and into our stomach.  So, in this world full of culinary richness, where does “human semen” play into a role in the world’s culinary realm? 

   

  I was browsing through one of the many food blogs available online, ChaXiuBao – a HongKong based blog by a food blogger who talks about his life and food in HongKong, where I came across one of his older blogs that shows a picture of a cookbook for dishes made with semen.  That’s right, human semen (http://chaxiubao.typepad.com/chaxiubao/2008/12/a-very-serious-cookbook-for-your-xmas.html).  Now I don’t want to be judge mental or anything but why would anyone cook with semen, let alone create a whole cookbook devoted to the use of semen as a culinary ingredient?

   

  True, we probably have heard things worse than this, like certain groups of people who believe they are vampires and thus live on blood.  Some drink human blood while some decided to go “vegetarian” by drinking animal blood.  Certain communities in Alaska, if I’m not mistaken, also happened to enjoy whale’s secretion as part of their diet (I’ve seen this on Discovery Channel once).  Not to mention a whole community of people who enjoy the addition of semen in their sexual fantasies and acts.  So who’s to say that semen, human’s or otherwise, can’t be used as a food ingredient?  The author of that book would certainly be the first to support the term “semenlicious”.

   

  I know what you’re thinking, this is kinda gross but bear with me for a bit, ok.  If we, society in general, is to accept the idea of consuming semen as food, I can’t help but to think how many men would have to “spank the monkey” and how many times each of those men would have to be “milked” in order to fulfill the creation of every single recipe on that cookbook.  Think about it.  “Stroking” could very well be an occupation a lot of men would jump into.  But that wouldn’t be convenient for anyone, would it?  I mean, it’s not like you can pick up a quart of semen off the rack in a supermarket, now can you?  Consumers would have to rely heavily on online shopping for those who can’t produce their own.  What about the legal aspect of selling semen?  There has got to be a written law that prevents or allows the sale of semen.

   

  I would definitely NOT be interested to cook up a storm using that book, but just like the next person I can’t help but to be curious to find out what kind of recipes the author came up with.  Macaroni and cheese and semen?  Semen mousse?  Beef and semen lasagna?  Cream of mushroom with semen?  Well, guess possibilities are endless.  But would you actually buy the book?  Let alone try out the recipes?  Is this beyond gross or just one of those things?  I’m eager to hear people’s thoughts and opinions.

  • 4:55 am
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