April 5, 2010
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cousin of mine.
It was a Wednesday night. My sister got the call as I was chewing away at the dining table. She sounded different from her usual candid demeanor whenever she’s on the phone. “Huh?! When? What happened?” she asked with such authority in her tone. When she hung up her cell, she turned to me and said “Kevin is in the hospital and he may already be dead…”. My jaw dropped, my eyes bulged, and the pair of chopsticks in my right hand halted midair between my lips and my bowl of rice. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
We readied ourselves as fast as we could and went to the hospital. By the time we got there, our parents and a group of relatives were already waiting outside and sobbing. Right there and then I knew Kevin had left us.
It was later explained that it happened at home while he was playing his video game on his desktop. His brother heard a loud thud and when he walked in he found Kevin was already on the floor unconscious and had froth on his mouth. His sister, whom was also at home at the time, gave him mouth to mouth, but by then Kevin had urinated his pants. It was too late.
One of my aunts confided that he had an irregularity in his heart. When Kevin was born, the doctor informed that he had a small hole in his heart. He would be able to live a normal life but extra care must be taken during his puberty years for that’s when signs of a possible heart attack may start to occur. Kevin had been in a rather weak condition for the past few weeks. His parents thought he was just down with fever. None of us thought it could be due to his heart for he had always been active, cheerful and healthy all these years. However, he had a headache all day that day and decided to stay in that late afternoon to rest. There is a possibility that the excitement he got from playing his video games during his weakest what really pushed the button. His weak heart just couldn’t handle it.
A wake was arranged the very next day through Friday. Everybody was seen wearing either black or white. Plates of oranges, peanuts, steamed buns and cakes were passed around to accommodate the many visitors who came to pay their respect, but that wasn’t enough to erase the sadness of the occasion. It wasn’t the first wake I attended but it was my first wake for the passing of someone from my own family. It was then I understood the reason for the tears shed by the many people at the wakes I attended in the past. Seeing my beloved family and relatives couldn’t hold back their tears, I too had my share of blurry visions.
Saturday morning we went to the cremation ceremony an hour outside the city. It was once again a first for me. After a lengthy session of Buddhist chants led by a monk in a turmeric yellow robe, everyone lined up to give their final respect by throwing flowers on top of the casket. Kevin in his wooden casket topped with flowers was sent into a large stainless steel oven to be burned into ashes. His ashes and crushed bones were later thrown into the sea nearby.
I know death is something that happens to all of us but I never knew how heart breaking it can be until it happens to someone we care about. It had been a very gloomy week. He was only 16 years old. His name was Kevin. And he was a cousin of mine.
Comments (18)
I'm so sorry for your loss. *HUGS*
The first death of a friend or close family member is tough. I don't think it gets any easier. You just learn to deal with it. Evan (ZenPaper) has an entry today that you might want to check -> link
It's called Cry to Heaven.
The first person I ever saw die was a 16 year old who died of the same thing while playing baseball in front of our house when I was in high school. It's very sad. I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry to hear
Losses will take a while to heal. Make sure to surround yourself with friends and family during this difficult time. *hugs*
@rudyhou - I'm sure it is rare...it's only the second time I've head of it in over 25 years.
@CareyGLY - do you think it's a genetic thing? or something less explainable?
@Rm2046 - thank you for your words, jim. i really appreciate it.
@CareyGLY - really? i thought this thing that happened to my cousin was something that's rare. i guess i was wrong.
@ElusiveWords - thanks for the link, matt. i feel better already.
probably genetic...definitely congenital
@CareyGLY - sometimes i think of how unfair it is that he had to go. he was only 16, for goodness sakes! he had a life waiting for him. he even had a girlfriend. and she was sobbing throughout the entire wake and cremation ceremony. that crushed me.
I am very sorry for your loss
@Wangium - thank you, jason.
I'm sorry to hear about the passing of Kevin. *hugs*
@CurryPuffy - thanks you. i'll try to keep up with your food porn.
Death is the abstract is always easier to cope with than when it come calling close to home. As sad as it is to lose a loved one, it occurs to me that such a loss is a reminder from the universe to enjoy the time we have in this life and to live it fully. My thoughts go out to you and your family and I know that your memories of your cousin will bring comfort to you in the weeks and months to come. Those memories keep those who have departed alive in our hearts.
@christao408 - thanks you, chris. yes, it is definitely harder to cope when it is close to home. but things have been back to normal now. well, somewhat. i'm sure my aunt and uncle are still grieving privately. i'm a big believer that one should deal with life one day at a time and what brings you down makes you stronger.
sorry to hear about the loss. knowing that someone has left for good is always a sad thing and i dunno what things to say to ease the pain coz' been there and everything just looks irrelevant.
but i say he's "lucky" to have lasted that long. i've known 2 special people who left us at an early age (4, 12) because they've got hole in their hearts.
@Renatojr3 - thanks renato. i never even heard of this case of a hole in the heart until the death of my cousin. there seems to be more cases of this heart condition out there, though it may be considered rare.
*hug*
@vsan79 - thanks, vince.